Why do people lie, especially to those they love?
Lying is a technique that is used to influence, control and manipulate other’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Lying comes naturally, and most of the time, it happens with little awareness, effort, or thought. In fact, children start lying, quite effectively, early in life. And as adults, people continue to lie.
Not only is lying fairly common, but it can take several different forms. On occasion, people will tell a bold-faced lie. That is, say something that is explicitly not true. Most of the time, however, lying is best accomplished by what is left unsaid – a lie of omission. In this case, speakers leave out critical information (usually about who, what, where, when, or why) while leading hearers to believe that the complete story is being told. As Benjamin Franklin so keenly noted, “Half the truth is often a great lie.”
So why do people lie, especially to those they love?
Lying is typically motivated by one or more of the following factors:
Lying is often used to avoid punishment or possible rejection. If a spouse or romantic partner is going to react poorly to the truth, generally speaking, people try to hide or conceal the truth. By nature, people are designed to avoid harm and punishment, even if individuals have to lie in order to do so. Again, children pick-up this skill early in life and people continue to lie as adults.
Not only are people designed to avoid punishment, but people universally have a need for approval. Lying and deception are often used to create a favorable image or impression. People will go to great lengths, even using deception, if necessary, to create a positive image. Often this involves some self-deception as well – people start to believe their own false image is true.
Everyone needs some privacy – a sense of independence, autonomy, and freedom. People like to feel in control, especially when it comes to giving out information about one’s self. Just because you are in a close relationship does not mean that you have completely given up your right to, or need for, privacy. So, lying and deception are very useful when trying to maintain a sense of one’s self that is autonomous, independent, and private.
Couples rarely see eye-to-eye on every issue. And if couples were determined to (and some do), they could engage in never ending conflict on a range of issues. But, always engaging in conflict is damaging in any relationship. So, rather than argue about every issue that may come up, sometimes it is easier to avoid conflict by pretending to get along.
Whether people like to acknowledge it or not, power differences are present in every relationship. Power involves having control when it comes to decision making. And power often switches back and forth between partners depending on the issue at hand. For instance, one partner might have financial power, while another partner may have social power (control in social situations). As a general rule, the person who lacks power in any given situation is more likely to lie in order to influence the outcome. For instance, kids are more likely to lie to their parents, employees are more likely to lie to employers, and the same holds true in close relationships. The person, who lacks power, is more likely to lie in order to get what they want. Lying helps individuals even out power differences that may exist.
Why we Need to Take Risks
Psychology, human nature, education, society, news and society, art and entertainment philosophy
It does not matter if you are a Doctor, a Lawyer or an infantry soldier in the Army if you want to be the best and get ahead, you will need to take risks.
A doctor may have to take risks when working with a patient. The Doctor may have to experiment with different forms of medications or new surgical procedures when all else has failed in an attempt to help the patient.
A lawyer may have to argue a case in an unorthodox manner to win the case, but if the lawyer wants to become the top lawyer and make millions of dollars fighting high profile cases lots of risks have to be taken.
A soldier may have to take a risk and run thru gunfire to save another injured soldier, to complete their mission, or just to secure an area from being overrun by enemy troops, after going days with little to no sleep, but if a soldier wants to get promotions and eventually lead men into battle they also need to take risks.
The same can be said about life in general. No one gets ahead in life from playing it safe. You will not meet your special someone if you are too afraid to risk getting rejected by someone, you will never get that big promotion unless you take risks at your job.
It is very important to continue to take risks in life. To stop taking risks means to stand still in life. Standing still in life is one of the main causes of depression. These are usually the people afraid to confront the boss and tell him that they demand a raise; they are the ones that allow life to pass them by out of fear. The entire purpose of fear is to stop you from taking a risk.
Fear is nothing more then the unknown. If you have always wanted to quit your job and open a shop but you are too afraid to do it, this is because you are afraid of failing and risking what you already have.
It is important to learn to take risks in life if you want to be happy, you may not always get the things you risked for, but you will know that you tried, and in the end it does not matter in my opinion if you succeed or not it is how many risks you try to make that is the real test of how successful you are.
Just remember if no one took risks we would be a world without flight and probably no automotive vehicles at all, maybe we would have no electricity. So risk truly is needed to improve the world.